Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Changing the World

I want to do more.  Make a bigger impact. 

When I was a teenager I dreamed of doing mission work.  It was the grandest version of serving the Lord I could imagine.  And I wanted to "go big".  Rocking orphans in the middle of Africa has never transpired.  I never traveled beyond the ocean to tell people about Jesus. 

I want to change the world.  Rescue an orphan.  Feed the hungry.  Save all the strays. 

When my eight-year-old goes on and on about Blockland and the store he "built" there today, I realize, sincerely listening to him will change his world. 

As the toddler climbs onto my lap and I squeeze him, kissing his chubby cheek, I realize, I am changing his world.

Praying with my girls when I tuck them into bed and answering Rose's question, "Why don't I hear God?" will change her world. 

It is small things.  Providing a home and being a mother changes, alters, each of the human beings linked to my day to day.  I have the power to heal them with my words, or tear them down. I have the power to affect their world. 

And I am suddenly humbled.  Staggered with the responsibility of their world and the big impact I make every day. 

 All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.  -Isaiah 54:13

Friday, December 07, 2012

In Too Deep...

Inspired by the never followed ever-stretched-budget, I cruised around online in search of a part time job here in dusty Alamogordo.  Nothing fit in with Jason's schedule.  Nothing would work for my family.  It was disheartening. 

Light bulb!!  I could hire someone to watch the kids while I work!  Isn't that what the other mommies do?  Yes; the solution!  Let's see...  childcare, times five.  Yikes!  That would be my entire paycheck!  Never mind...

I always wanted to be a mommy.  I say this outloud to myself on the hard says.  Like a mantra.  "I want to be a mommy!  I want to be a mommy!"  Color on the walls?  Shoes all over the floor?  Muddy footprints in my kitchen?  "I want to be a mommy!  I want to be a mommy!"

Children are like magnets and I'm the big white fridge.  They stick to me, drawn continually to all my sides.  There's no escape.    It is a tug-of-war.  I need that mommy escape to Wal-mart, but as soon as I walk out the door my heart tightens in my chest and I miss their sweet faces.  An unexpected symptom of Motherhood. 

I remember the Truth.  I am called to Motherhood Ministry.  I do enjoy my kids.  I would miss them greatly if I were gone all day, every day.  I am a crazy blessed woman, indeed. 

I'm in too deep to turn back now.  Might as well grab those sweet chubby hands and run the race set before us.  Ready, set, go!  Wait.  Yes. I can tie your shoes.  What? You forgot the water bottle?  UH?  You need to potty??? 

revolutionary love

I have experienced revolutionary love. Love with no strings attached. Jesus Christ loves me and made a way for me to have a relationship with the One True God. God desires a relationship with you, too. If you have yet to experience this revolutionary love, please email me at so I can share this amazing experience with you. Blessings, -Jess