Thursday, January 29, 2009

counting my fertile blessings

I rarely leave the circle of blogging friends who have tons of babies. We are all mommies moving around reading each others daily stories of motherhood. I am so entrenched in my intense blessings, I rarely think of others plights.

Amidst the cries of Samuel and the whooping of my little four year old cowboy I found myself scanning through blogs that broke my heart. Stories about women who are infertile. Who are blogging through their personal journey of intense desire for a baby.

This morning, I stumbled upon several blogs whose stories are so vastly different from mine. Their house is empty. Mine is overflowing. Their arms ache for a baby. My arms ache FROM holding a baby. I wish I could spread the fertility around. I wish I could give them some of what God has poured out onto my life.

Alas, it does not work like that. Why? I do not know. Why has God opened the floodgates over here at our house, and not opened them elsewhere?

I don't understand. But for today, I will count my blessings. The four intense ones running around this home of mine. I will smile through the baby's cries and enjoy the silly antics of the older babies. Life really is good, Mommies. We are blessed.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Found a yummy giveaway

OK, so I found this giveaway about BROWNIES and Mamalicious Finds!! Seriously. Go check it out. Sign up. You could win BROWNIES! Um. I think I am drooling. Slurp!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

I love my baby boy


Can I just say... I am so in love with my newest baby. He is simply amazing. As crazy as it might seem, he makes me want another baby! Can you believe I just posted that?? It is true, though. He is precious. He smells delicious. I love how his body feels in my arms. I love the smile that is just for me. He loves me unconditionally; how could I ask for more?

MY FIRST GIVEAWAY GETAWAY: jump on board!!

I am so not competitive. At all. OK. I am! In the spirit of my competitiveness I would like to offer my FIRST GIVE AWAY!!

Now, I have limited abilities. Like I have not figured out how to create a button to advertise my blog. I desperately WANT one!! I have played around with one, but I do not know 1) How to create the button and 2) how to post it so that others can "grab" the button and post it on their blog. Not that anyone would really care, but if they did... They could have a button to put on their blog. (Anyone who creates a button for me that I use on my blog... Just might receive something special from ME.)

But, I digress. I was going to tell you about my first GIVEAWAY!! Drum roll, please....

Let's see... What could I give away... Howza boutza ..... A MOM GETAWAY AT HOME. Now that's a GIVEAWAY!


Your prize (should you win) will include:
a scented candle
a small box of candles
bubble bath

Does that sound wondrous??
Here's how to earn chances to win this MOMS GETAWAY (oh yeah, you do not have to be a mom to win. Want-to-be-moms are welcome to jump in on this GIVEAWAY!!)

1) Post about this contest on your blog. Include a link back to my blog. Comment on my blog so I can go check out your post. This earns you ONE NAME IN THE HAT for the GIVEAWAY.

2) Become a follower. ALL FOLLOWERS AUTOMATICALLY RECEIVE FIVE ENTRIES.

You have one week to earn your names/entries in the pot. Next MONDAY I will draw ONE NAME out of the hat. That will be the WINNER of the GIVEAWAY GETAWAY. YEAH!!

OK. So that's my GIVEAWAY. Let's see what happens. I do feel slightly sheepish about this begging for followers. But, I like seeing all your cute faces under my "followers" section. Hope you jump on board!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday

It is Not Me! Monday again and I am, of course, jumping on board. Do not forget to check out MckMama's blog and join in on the fun of hundreds of other bloggers confess what they have not done this week!
***
It is not me who is shamelessly promoting her blog with her very first GIVEAWAY! Check it out for some mommy freebies!! I mean. If it was me, you might want to check it out. Only I would never just promote my blog like that. Hee hee.
It was not me who looked up from washing my hands after a potty break and noticed a huge blotch of baby vomit on sweater. It was still white. Still slightly foamy. It is not me who goes around with baby-vomit-perfume on my clothes all day long.

On that note, it is not my baby who passes gas all day long. He does not smell so bad that we do the "air the booty dance" several times a day to move the nostril-hair burning scent away from my nose.

It was not me who started her period three months post-partum and then spent the day depressed because now I have to worry about not getting preggers. Again. Not me. I am not Fertile Mertyl.

****

Well, that's it, boys and girls. I got nothing else for ya! Thanks for stopping by. TOOTLES!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Moms Club: Living the Motherhood Ministry

Discover fulfillment in being “just a mom”
Find comradeship with other moms
Put it all together with the grace of the Lord
Seek God’s peace in the middle of the mayhem
Please feel free to bring:
Your kids
A snack for your kids
A brunch dish to share with everyone
Your Bible
A notebook or journal

Looking forward to our shared times of refreshing!
Every other Wednesday @ 10am
Jessica Keys’ House
Please RSVP
jandjkeys@hotmail.com
"Moms Club: Living the Motherhood Ministry" is a Life Group of Grace Church

Friday, January 23, 2009

a give away to let you know about

Did you know bloggers give things away? While yours truly has never given anything way... not that I'm selfish or anything... or totally poor... I'm just a busy momma to FOUR kids under FOUR! Have you seen the post office lately? They really do not care for children in there, you know...

Anyways... Whilst cruising around the blog world I found this lovely lady who is giving away some goodies.



Check it out and enjoy her cute blog while you are there.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Structure THIS!

Structure. Yikes. I never knew the very word would make me cringe.

It is a funny thing. Mommies toss the word around like candy. Some of us LOVE structure, some hate it and others long for it.

I have always seen myself as a woman with "structure". I enjoy a good schedule. I like things put away and "in their place".

With that said, if you were to just pop in for a visit right now, you might not be able to see my "structure". You see, I have FOUR kids. I can organize all day, pick up and put away, and my house would still look like this unless I ran around stressing about every little piece of everything as it found its way out of place. As the years run by, I am learning to let go and find my priorities. An incredibly structured house is not one of them.

What about structure for my kids? Why do I feel pressure to have them on a tight-whipped-up-schedule? I have gradually let that go, too. Instead, I present to you a routine. Routines are easier because we have some flexibility. Schedules can be rigid. Routines just give me a loose program for my day.

What have I learned? Structure varies from home to home. Do not judge me and my apparent lack of structure and I won't judge you and your apparent overuse of structure. To each his her own. What works for one family may not work for another.

But, I promise. I do structure. I do. Really.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

President Barack Obama stirs me to post

We have a new president now. Senator Barack Obama took the "Oath of Office" around noon today.

I monitored the news off and on this morning. Perhaps like many Americans. I chucklede at the news anchors anxiously awaiting Obama to arrive at the morning chapel service until my motherly duties called. A few hours later, I returned to the television set in my living room. Nursing my infant, I watched Vice President Biden accept his new position. Shortly after, I watched our new president be sworn into the highest office of our nation.

President Obama began his Inaugural Speech, and my children drew me back to the present. Lunch was needed and naptime pressed upon us. I turned the TV up full volume and got busy. While lunch warmed up in the microwave, I stood, child's plate in hand, at the entrance of my living room, watching Obama speak.

"That's our new president, Isaiah," I said to my preschooler. The child has no idea that "history has been made". Isaiah does not see a "black man". Just a man. If only the rest of us were so innocent.

"That's his wife," I said, tapping on the screen. Three year old Rose stared at Michelle Obama. "She's like the princess..." I searched for words to fill the wonder of the Obama's position to our nation.

I prayed. I cried. I realized I do not fully trust this man speaking into my home. I feel fear stirring inside my spirit as he offers Americans a generalize promised of "change". What is he changing? I pray and hope they are changes that are godly and honest. Not changes that bring more death to unborn babies. Or changes that take my freedom away. My freedom to have babies at home. Or our freedom to speak my mind, even if it does not "bring peace". My freedom to homeschool my children. The dawning age rises around us and I shudder to see, perhaps, the "end of times". Does the "changes" Barack Obama promises usher in the "end of the world"?

Oh, it does sound extreme, I know. I hope I am wrong. I hope I am being silly and overly dramatic. Only God knows. Only time will tell. Despite my worries and fears, I joined the applause the various audiences offered to our new President. Little Lela added her precious clapping to her momma's. I prayed out loud for our new leader, as God commands us to do in His word.

God, be with President Obama. Give him YOUR wisdom, Lord. YOUR knowledge. And, God, I choose to trust YOU. You are in control. Your will WILL be done. And so... We go on.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It is Not Me! Monday and a day for mix-ups and fess ups, so join the circus on MckMama's blog. Whew-hew! Thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoy the ride!

***

This week I most certainly did not do the following!!

I did not try to open someone else's trunk in the Wal-mart parking lot. I always know where I park. I do not try to open a stranger's mini-van because I am so featherbrained and forget where I am parked. Oops.

I did not let my kids water color so much this week that they used up all the paint. I did not buy twice as many water color sets tonight so they could be entertained again this week. I do not get totally excited when I find something that keeps my kids happy for HOURS!! YEAH!

It was not me who managed to misunderstand my babysitter/sister when she asked that we only be gone for two hours on a date with the hubby. Since I do not faze out when someone is talking to me, I could not have been the mommy who was gone for THREE hours (when the sitter/sister was expecting me home after TWO hours). It was not my two month old who screamed for an hour, waiting for mommy to get home. I did not come home, pull him close to my breast and cry while he nursed. I never think I am a "bad mom". Sigh. Not me. Sniff-sniff.

I did not squeeze into a pair of post-partum jeans and get depressed because they were so tight. I certainly did not continue to wear them all day, hoping they might loosen up a little and become more comfortable. Since it was not me wearing super-tight jeans all day, it was not me who sighed with relief when I took said jeans off. Ah.

***

Well, there ya go. Nothing dynamic or amazing. Just me. A mom of four kids under four. Wonders of wonders. Now, go have a good day!

bloody murder protests..... from me

Bloody murder screaming. No, no one was being killed. Or pinched. No one was in trouble. The screams were coming from the middle row of our mini-van. Little Samuel does not like his car seat. And we all definitely know about it.

The other night was a particularly painful ride home. Samuel's usual fussiness grew to literal screams. Bloody murder screams, to be exact. I gripped the steering wheal, my knuckles growing white. My jaw ached from the tension. Everyone was silently enduring Samuel's jarringly loud protests.

It was in that intense moment that God struck my thoughts.

"Jessica, this is how it is with MY children," He said to me.

"Lord?" I was confused. We scream? What?

"How many times do I have your best interests at heart and you do not understand what I am doing?"

Ouch. Shock waves rolled inside my mommy brain, processing God's comparison.

We are like the infant strapped to a car seat. Sometimes I do not understand God's ways. I kick and complain. I cry out to God, "WHY? What are you doing to me??? Why won't you get me out of here?" Just like Little Samuel is "saying" with his blood-curdling screams.

But, Samuel does not know that it is OK. He does not know that his alternatives are to walk outside in the below freezing cold. Or to be held in a moving vehicle where his life would be in danger. While it may not be his favorite position (the car seat) it is the best for him right now.

Now, apply that to our life. How many times do we look around our current situation and think there must be a better option? We scream in frustration, unable to see the whole picture. God tries to soothe us, but we are too flustered to really listen.

I need to quit screaming at the car seat. I need to relax and enjoy the ride. This is where God has me right now. No matter my protests, He is in control and He will have his way.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Motherhood Ministry: What is your mission statement?

What is your mission statement?

"My people perish for lack of vision".

Where are you going? If you do not know your destination, how are you going to get there?

This was the topic of our first Moms Club: Living the Motherhood Ministry meeting. I am hosting and leading a Life Group of our church, Grace Church. The word went out for volunteers and I felt led to, well, lead. We had six mommies (including me) and THIRTEEN children. Sitters attended the children upstairs so the mommies could truly visit and listen to the Word.

I shared about the time the Lord prompted me to define my "mission statement". Mine is simple. "To raise up godly men and women who will advance the kingdom of God. To minister to other mothers along the way." Basic and specific.

We talked about how motherhood truly is a ministry. It is hard. We are "in the trenches", so to speak. What does a minister do? Teach, lead, and serve. What do mothers do? Teach, lead and serve. Is changing a poopy diaper serving? Is explaining how God made the sky blue teaching? Is walking "the walk" leading? Motherhood IS a ministry. God calls each of us to take our stand in our ministry.

I encouraged the mommies at Moms Club to write out their mission statement and post it on the wall. Somewhere that they could see it everyday and be reminded of their mission. Hey, YOU [yes, YOU] should do it, too. Comment back and let me know your mission statement. Or post about it and comment, leaving me a link to your post. I wanna read YOUR mission statement of YOUR motherhood ministry. (Or, for the not-yet-but-want-to-be-mommies who read my blog, you might consider creating a mission statement for the season of life God has you in right now. College student? What is your mission statement as you go through school? Single gal, working full time? What is God calling you to center your focus on as you serve him?) Looking forward to reading every one's response.

OK. Gotta go do my ministry. Smile.

Monday, January 12, 2009

surrendering it all?

What can I surrender to the Lord?

There are some days I feel I have surrendered it ALL! Those are the days when the kids are running around like hoodlums, hollering and partying all over the place. I feel quite self-righteous, as I angelically pray, "Yes, Lord. It is evident YOU are using ME." Ah.

Other days, I am holding tightly to it ALL. I have discovered I am the most annoyed at my children (yes, annoyed. I'm being honest here!) when I am being selfish. For example, when I am blogging.

"Momma!"

"Just a minute.." Type, type, type.

"Mom!"

"Hold on..." Write, write, write.

"Lap, Momma!"

Pick up toddler. Keep banging away at keyboard.

My temper fluctuates according to their demands. Isn't that awful? Those are selfish moments; when I get mad because I can't do what I want to do. Yeah. Issues surrendering, for sure.

The word "surrender" has been rolling around inside me like a thunderstorm. It crashes against my very soul. What does it truly mean to surrender it all to the Lord? To lay everything down before the One who created me?

When I consider this raw surrender, I am stunned to realize I do not wholly and fully trust my God. This realization pushes me back and drops my jaw. I have always believed I trust Him. But, with what? When? I want to move beyond surrendering the easy things; I want to surrender the painful things.

So, I explore surrender. Lord, show me how to really let it all go...

Friday, January 09, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday



It's Not Me! Monday again! You know what that means! Time to tell the truth in a fantastic not me fashion. I did not think I would get a chance to post today due to a wonderful overnight date with the amazing man of my dreams... But, looks like MckMama posted her Not Me Tournament just three hours ago. Wow. And, of course there are already almost 300 links to other blogs!! Go MckMama! Check it out and I hope you enjoy my NMM List!! It's short and sweet.

***

It was not me who dropped a scoop of Eddy's Peanut Butter Ice Cream on the kitchen floor, picked it back up, and checked for dog hair before placing it in the my bowl. That was not me. I certainly did NOT do that!


It was not me who let her kids play outside in the mud. I am not that desperate to have something to entertain my kids. I do not have pictures to show for it because my kids are not the most adorable-mud-covered-kids in the world!

It was not me who, while peeing quietly in the bathroom, saw a ROACH frolicking across the tiled floor. Since it was not me, I certainly did not swat at the bug with a rolled up magazine, only to miss the darn creature! The roach did not then run wildly around the bathroom, towards ME. Being far from scared of roaches, I most certainly did not jump up and try to squish the roach with my flip-flop-wearing foot. Since it was not me who stood up whilst peeing, then it could not have been me who, um, peed all over the toilet and surrounding floor in the assassination attempt of said roach. Uh-hum....

***

Ah, I feel better. Always do! Blessings to all! Thanks for visiting. Gud-bye.

grumpy mommy bumps over 4000 "hits"

While MckMama celebrates her 3 MILLIONTH hit (which, since there was so much page refreshing going on, it was more like the 3 millionth page refreshment... but whatever... I don't have sour grapes at all.... I am certainly NOT jealous of the creative and talented MckMama having thousands of followers. Nope, NOT ME.) Anywho... As I was saying... While MckMama celebrates her 3 millionth visitor/page refresher I would like to celebrate my 4oooth hit. Not quite as amazing as THREE MILLION but, it makes me happy. In a small scale kind of way.

I sound a tad grumpy, don't I. Sorry guys. I am grumpy. I am frustrated with myself on a few levels. One, my overeating is driving me crazy. I hate it. It is this humongous battle and I feel like I am LOOSING!! Two, my kids are, of course precious, but... They are also loud. And Mommy has been overly tired lately so Mommy has been throwing fits which include yelling trying desperately to keep it together. Sigh. Thirdly, my house. It is like trying to clean a mud puddle. The more I do, the worse it gets. I go around and around the house, picking up trash, dishes, toys, and clothes. The kids follow behind me dropping trash, dishes, toys and clothes. ARGH!

Bear with me as I adjust to my new promotion to Level Four of Motherhood. Hee hee. Gosh, it's tough.

Always up for something FREE!!




Can't miss out on a good giveaway. Check it out! Hurry before it's too late to enter for the free drawing! Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

from mom to mom, i get it

"I'll never have pretty things again. I must not be allowed," my mother said as she sadly picked up the broken pieces of a porcelain statue. My oldest brother had broken the "no ball-throwing in the house" rule and had knocked down one of mother's tiny shadow boxes from the wall. I was about nine years old. I watched her pick it up and my childish heart could not understand the sorrow on her face.

Fast forward to today. Lela broke a special Christmas ornament. We do to have very many ornaments. It was one from my mother, ironically. I cradled the broken ornament, lamenting the loss of my small treasure. The memory of my mother's trinkets breaking flashed across my mind. Suddenly, I got it. I understood the loss.

I am one of five children. The first three were born like my own; boom, boom, boom! Three kids, in three years. [Of course, there have been four for me.] Then, my parents adopted a set of twins when I was nine years old. As you can imagine, chaos was on the menu daily.

There are days where I go to my room, shut the door, close my eyes and pray desperately to the Lord to help me keep it together. In those moments, another memory of my mother breaks through my haze and I am reminded of the many times I found her door shut, locked and my mother on the other side. Ah. I get it.

"I am just a slave around here! Why do I even bother?" my mother would groan moving slowly across the rooms, picking up as she went. The child Jessica looked around the room and did not have a clue what in the world Mom was talking about; the house looked clean to me! I did not see the dirt tracked in on her freshly mopped floor. Or the books that were knocked of the bookshelf she just reorganized. Or the toppled over clothes that had just been folded before someone absentmindedly tipped them over. Well. I get it, now.

So, I think of my mother. I get it. I am forcefully aware of what drove her hard times. The memories of her words and sighs and weary smiles run like a waterfall across my thoughts. I should call her.

I get it, Mom. Thank you. So much.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Un-deck the halls...fa-la-la-laaaaaaaaa

Why is it so hard to pack away the Christmas stuff? I mean, really! The season is over already. The tree is dropping more and more needles every day. Most of the holly was demolished by the four-year-old rough house. My counter tops are over crowded with tins and tinsel. I ought to be ready to pack it all up and return the house to "normal". (Not that this house is ever truly normal, but you know what I mean.)

And yet, my heart is heavy as I un-decorate the fresh tree [with the dropping needles]. My throats constricts when I box up our Christmas framed Christmas pictures of the past. I sigh in sadness while I fold up the stockings and stuff them into the huge, green Rubbermaid container. It is like I am packing up memories that will stay stored away for a whole year. Memories of my mother flash across my thoughts. Christmases past. Memories of the past few Christmas minus my parents but with my own little ones. Wonderings of the coming Christmas; where will be? Will I be expecting again? (Well, you never know about that with us!)

It is a brand new year. I try hard to comfort myself with that mantra. Maybe my melancholy feelings are from the dark, rainy weather and not so much from the packing up of shiny, precious memories. Er, I mean decorations.

I love Lucy

***My favorite picture of Lucy. This was taken in 2005. Isaiah is one year old.***

I think my dog wonders what has happened to the female master.

Lucy is a great mutt. Except for this one thing... She jumps the fence. Well, now she is climbing the fence. On Christmas Day, Lucy ran away. Some lovely neighbor called the SPCA who came on Christmas Day to impound our dog. Nice neighbors, huh? Anyway. That is a very annoying thing about Lucy. She is now not allowed outside without adult supervision.

Being a busy mommy of four little guys, poor Lucy has fallen way down on the priority list. A combination of recently loosing my dog of my youth, Sami, and then picking Lucy up from the Doggie Pound has given me a change of heart. I feel convicted for ignoring her needs. She smells bad. Her hair has matted together around her hindquarters. I rarely took time to pet her or love on her. See?? I feel mounds of guilt just writing about it! And judged. Are you judging me?? Remember, I have four little guys who are chalk full of needs to care for! It's not that I do not like Lucy... I just do not have time for her beyond her basic-basic needs.

Alas. Jason and I decided Lucy needed some more loving. We scrounged around inside, digging deep and actually found a little love and time for Lucy. She got a much needed bath. Jason trimmed all the matted hair off. She looks great! Not to mention, smells good again. Plus, I am making a huge effort to love on her more.

Lucy looks at me wearily. Poor dog. She wonders what has gotten into her masters. I think she will come around to the new and improved "us".

Monday, January 05, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday

Well, I am actually able to post on Monday, thus a "Not Me!" Monday post is in the mix. I hope you're ready for this because I am really gonna get real! (If you wanna read other bloggers getting real on their own"Not Me!" posts, check out MckMama's blog and join in on the honest confessions.)
***
It was not me who got the most incredible Christmas presents on Christmas Day. It was not my incredible hubby who spent way too much money on ME. It was not me who was so busy keeping house, chasing three big kids and nursing one very small baby that she did not get out and finish her Christmas shopping. It was not me who, on Christmas Eve, lamented the fact that even Wal-mart was closing and that there were no more chances to finish my Christmas shopping. NO that was not me.

It is not me who has lost ten pounds and gained ten pounds in the past two months since my son was born. It is not me who "starts over" every morning, vowing to eat "good" and take care of herself on THIS DAY. It is not me who eats food to relieve stress.

It was not me who went on a bicycle ride last week with her hubby, worried the whole time about what this big girl looks like on her bike. It was not me who on said bike ride, rode past a group of teenagers and one of them certainly did not holler out "Work that bike, Girl!" Since it was not me, I did not feel very fat and awkward and embarrassed because of course I do not care what someone ten years younger then me thinks. Of course.

It is not me who has spent the past three hours reading and answering emails online whilst my kids watched the morning routine of PBS shows on TV. Because my kids never watch TV and I certainly do not turn the TV on to babysit my kids. I am way too good a mom to do that.

It was not me who made her kids go back to bed this morning because the "sun was not up". I did not shut the light off and insist they actually climb back into to bed, laying aside their toys. It was not me who refused to apologize when her son demanded an apology for being so mean as to make the kids go back to bed. That was not me stumbling around until I inhaled the miraculous aroma of coffee, easing my headache, drank said coffee and was wondrously revived. Not me.
***
Ah, as usual, that felt good. Thanks to MckMama and her blog to bring us all such cheer. So glad Stellan is doing better and that the Not Me! Monday list is back after last week's break! Blessings to all fellow MckMama fans who stumble upon my blog this morning.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

reflecting on the old year and bringing in the new

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Saying good-bye to 2008.......

2008 brought me a pregnancy and a beautiful baby boy. All in one year. Wow. A year changes things!

Jason went through Airmen Leadership School this year. He finally got to sew on his stripe and gained the rank of Staff Sergeant. A pay increase and just a teeny-tiney bit more respect. But, not much more. OK, maybe not really anymore. Oh well.

We moved a from an 1100 square foot home to a 1600 square foot home. Only a mile away from each other. I was pregnant, of course. Good times.

I started a blog. YEAH! You all appreciate that, I'm sure.

My friend lost her baby. Another friend miscarried her baby. Then another.

Family visited for a whole month. That was cool. Really awesome blessing.

My baby sister had a baby. Turns out Sarah is quite the little mother. Wish I could really see her in action, but praise God for pictures and the Internet!

God moved us to a different church this year. Thank you, Lord, for Grace Church. What a precious family they have been to us.

My baby brother re-dedicated his life to the Lord. What a re-birth! Welcome home, Jon.

All in all, it has been a good year. A great year. Some intense sorrow and loss, but also so many blessings. God has been faithful to us. To us, lowly humans who are but a breath, a vapor in the wind. He has looked down on high, seen me and my family, and poured down blessings. I am humbled.

What will 2009 hold for us? Another baby? Yikes. I have already taken TWO pregnancy tests! Don't freak out; they were both negative. While another baby is not necessarily on my agenda for 2009, I am open to God's will in my life. I have put in my request (i.e. no babies for three years, PLEASE), but I know God's ways are higher than my ways.

Will 2009 bring us a move away from Virginia? Oh, how we long for Texas; for our home and our family. What will I be reviewing at the end of this year?

I guess we will wait and see. I have absolutely no doubt that God will continue to be faithful. Even through the deepest sorrows and the highest joys, God is the same. I step out in faith and embrace 2009. Thank you, Lord, for loving me and giving me today!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

revolutionary love

I have experienced revolutionary love. Love with no strings attached. Jesus Christ loves me and made a way for me to have a relationship with the One True God. God desires a relationship with you, too. If you have yet to experience this revolutionary love, please email me at jandjkeys@hotmail.com so I can share this amazing experience with you. Blessings, -Jess